The End of My Rope

Despite having four alarms and three alarm clocks, it's nearly impossible for me to wake up in the morning. I've literally tried everything: irritating cell phone alarms (one at 6:00 am, 6:45, and 7:00), digital alarms on cheap plastic clocks, old-fashioned metal clocks with the deafening hammer-alarm ringer, a clock radio alternately set to country music and full-volume static, and others... In truth, the only thing that's snapped me awake in the past month was the shrill sound of my sister's voice, "Lindsey!!!!" It seems that my symphony of alarms is enough to wake up sommmeone.

So I would like to introduce my new, gentler approach: the Soleil Super Bright Sun Alarm Ultima (ooooh, ahhhhh). The Sun Alarm promises to wake you naturally, like a sunrise, and energize you for the day ahead. With a special built-in light (and hopefully a hammer to knock me over the head), the Sun Alarm gradually increases the intensity of light until your body wakes instinctively. Instinctively? Dear god, I hope this little spaceship-looking thing works. I'll have to let you know...